Wednesday, June 10th, 2009
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1:27 pm - smalls
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When things are good, you are my rock. When things are bad, I feel like I am drowning.
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(you're dead)
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Wednesday, May 13th, 2009
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8:50 pm - I can't say I made bad choices, only choices.
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I feel like I am having a breakdown. So many things are eating at me right now. Here I am, 6 months pregnant and feeling so trapped. Not that I suspect that this is unordinary, but I dont like not having the answers.
I love my job. My students are great. I work on the beach. Its so relaxing. The only negative being that I seem incapable of making strong relationships with anyone here. I have acquaintances but no "friends." Have I become that socially maladjusted? Or is it just that I can't relate to many people here. I feel like I have different interests than other people. I like concerts and volleyball (neither of which I can take part in as of now)...and everyone else likes church groups or getting ridiculously wasted. I feel like Im trapped in the middle. Its hard for me to put a true effort into conversations with people when we both know that they are going nowhere. I just wish I didnt feel like they were going nowhere all the time.
I miss my old friends. I miss being in Methuen. I wish I had time to see Pelham kids now, and I wish Bobby and Chris werent so far away. Im so much happier when Im home. I have the greatest family in the world. I could grow up with only them and be completely satisfied. I grew up in such a great home, I feel like my expectations for my future family are going to be sooo high. I just want someone to be there for me. To love me and want to be with me, and no one else.
My goal is to be my Dad. He's amazing. He doesnt take shit and he doesnt care what anyone else thinks. New life goal...Be him.
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(you're dead)
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Wednesday, February 11th, 2009
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8:02 pm
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Monday, August 11th, 2008
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10:32 pm - I am freaking out.
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Havent posted in awhile. Whats new? Im a teacher. Weird. Im taking my masters. Scary. I am so bad at social situations, it isnt even funny. I feel like such a social outcast here. Everyone here is into "rowing" and weird things I cant relate to. I feel so alone. I dont know what to talk about with anyone.
My friends are not here. Ryans like BANNED from staying with me at my dorm. This is retarded. He relaxes me. I need that right now. Ughh.
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(you're dead)
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Saturday, November 5th, 2005
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8:30 pm - Stressed & Relaxed
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I can't wait until this research paper is finally finished. Four day week this week! That is amazing. I can't wait to partyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
current music: the loud kind
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(bang bang  you're dead)
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Thursday, April 28th, 2005
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11:27 am - am i not turtley enough for the turtle club?!
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i dont know which is going to kill me first....this horrible cough or my sociology teacher...
to quote a horrible papa roach song, im sick and tired of being sick and tired. schools almost out though, thats exciting. carnival is tonight woo. i just realized that my soc presentation is tuesday. i walked in today to a fucking 5 page essay due next thursday. gayyyy. i guess we all know what ill be doing this weekend. heh the weekend starts tonight. i <3 university day. i also <3 ryan and ashley. i had missed them. ashleys tattoos are hawt. it actually makes me want some. hmm maybe. i dont know what i would get though. talking with ashley made me realize that i care way too freaking much about people that dont show me the same. thats gonna end now. let me tell you, its gonna be a slap in the face. i dont need any more shit right now. there is no use is wasting your time on people who arent willing to waste their time on you. time for some sleep so i can actually make it to JD today.
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(bang bang you're dead)
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Monday, April 11th, 2005
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7:00 pm
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HEY YOU!
WATER FIGHT AND WIFFLE BALL GAME!
APRIL 23rd!
1:00 PM
MY METHY HOUSE
(Bring water balloons, super soakers, w/e you want to use for the fight and let me know if you need directions!)
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(bang bang you're dead)
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Friday, November 19th, 2004
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1:49 pm - Haha suckahssss
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silentscream_22's journal